You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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