he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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