I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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