At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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