I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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