The maid of honor just puked.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life