Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We talked him into tasing himself.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
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I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!