if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it glows. i had to have it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
