I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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