I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
