carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
