there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
