On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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