But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
