i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He passed out mid-signature
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
