I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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