Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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