Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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