Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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