You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize