Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
