I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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