I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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