Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
