; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
