is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
