I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
