If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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