just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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