they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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