Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
