he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
