I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
