Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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