just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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