Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
