Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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