i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize