at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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