Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Even my vagina gasped.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
