If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
