Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
