Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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