too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
