we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
