East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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