Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
