thus making me awesome and them whores
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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