I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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