I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize