yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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