I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
