Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
