you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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