Pregnant stripper...not hot.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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