My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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