Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
