I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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