Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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